Once my husband called "Stop" and then "Bingo" at a point north and far west, at least fifteen hundred kilometers from the nearest Bingo light. I noted the time-Greenwich 21:16:51-then tried to figure out why Zebadiah had stopped us. It was pretty country, green hills and lightly wooded and I spotted a wild stream, not a canal. But I saw no buildings or anything suggesting settlement.

Zebadiah wrote something on his knee pad, then said, "Continue." I was itching to ask why he had stopped, but when a decision must be made every three seconds there is no time to chat.

When the hour was nearly up, a single Bingo light in the far west that had been shining since the first five minutes was joined by another when Hilda scored another Bingo and two minutes later Pop said "Bingo!" and we had an equilateral triangle twenty kilometers on a side. I noted the time most carefully-then told myself not to be disappointed if inspection showed onion towers; we still had a hemisphere to go.

I decided to believe in that British colony the way one has to believe hard in fairies to save Tinker Bell's life. If there were no British colony, we might have to risk Earth-without-a-J. Gay Deceiver was a lovely car but as a spaceship she had shortcomings. No plumbing. Air for about four hours and no way

to recycle. No plumbing. Limited food storage. No plumbing. No comfortable way to sleep in her. No plumbing.

But she had talents no other spaceship had. Her shortcomings (according to my father and husband) could be corrected at any modern machine shop. But in the meantime we did not have even an outhouse behind the barn.

At last Gay stopped, continued to display, and announced, "One hour of 'A Tramp Abroad' completed. Instructions, please."

"Gay, Bounce," said Zebadiah. "Deety, I don't think we've nailed down the piece The Sun Never Sets On. But this dense cluster here to the right- Too close to the Little Father's little children. Eh?"

"Yes. Zebadiah, I should tell Gay to trim the locus on the east to eliminate the clustered lights, and now we can add almost nine hundred kilometers on the west, to the present sunrise line. Gay can rotate the display to show the added area. I suspect that one more hour will fill in the picture sufficiently."

"Maybe even less. You were right; three seconds is not only a long time; it is excessively long. Isn't two seconds enough? Can you change that without starting from scratch?"

"Yes to both, Captain."

"Good. You can add thirty degrees on the west instead of fifteen. Because we are going to kill an hour-stretch our legs, eat a snack... and I for one want to find a bush. How do I tell Gay to return to a particular Bingo? Or will that mess up your program?"

"Not a bit. Tell her to return to Bingo such-and-such, stating the time."

I was unsurprised when he said, "Gay, return to Bingo Greenwich twentyone sixteen fifty-one."

It was indeed a pretty stream. Zebadiah said happily, "That beats burning juice. Who sees a clearing close to that creek, big enough for Gay? Hover and squat, I mean; I don't dare make a glide landing, dead stick-the old girl is loaded."

"Zebbie, I'm sober as you are!"

"Don't boast about it, Sharpie. I think I see a spot. Close your eyes; I'm going to."

I almost wish I had.

Zebadiah came in on a long glide, everything set for maximum lift-but no power. I kept waiting for that vibration that meant that Gay was alive and roaring... and waited... and waited- He said, "Gay-" and I thought that he was going to tell her to turn herself on. No. We actually dropped below the level of that bank.

Then he suddenly switched on power by hand but in reverse-flipped us up on that bank; we stalled, and dropped' perhaps a meter-we just barely missed that bank.

I didn't say anything. Aunt Hilda was whispering, "Hail Mary Mother of God Om Mani Padme Hum There is No God but God and Mahomet is His Prophet-" then some language I did not know but it sounded very sincere.

Pop said, "Son, do you always cut it that fine?"

"I saw a man do it that way when he had to; I've always wondered if I could. But what you didn't know was-Gay, are you listening?"

"Sure thing, Boss. You alerted me. Where's the riot?"

"You're a smart girl, Gay."

"Then why am I pushing this baby carriage?"

"Gay, go to sleep."

"Sleepy time. Roger and out, Boss."

"Jake, what you didn't know was that I had my cheeks puffed to say B, 0, U, N, C, E, explosively. Your gadget has made Gay's reflexes so fast that I knew I could come within a split second of disaster and she would get us out. I wasn't cutting didoes. Look at that meter. Seventy-four percent of capacity. I don't know how many landings I'm going to have to make on that much juice."

"Captain, it was brilliant. Even though it almost scared it out of me."

"Wrong honorific, Captain. I'm the pilot going off duty. We're landed; my resignation is effective; you're holding the sack."

"Zeb, I told you that I would not be captain."

"You can't help it; you are. The second-in-command takes command when the captain dies, or goes over the hill-or quits. Jake, you can cut your throat, or desert, or go on the binnacle list, or take other actions-but you can't say you are not captain, when you are-Captain!"

"If you can resign, I can resign!"

"Obviously. To the Astrogator, she being next in line of command."

"Deety, I resign! Captain Deety, I mean."

"Pop, you can't do this to me! I'll- I'll-" I shut up because I didn't know what to do. Then I did. "I resign....aptain Hilda."

"What? Why, that's silly, Deety. A medical officer is not in line of command. But if 'medical officer' is a joke and 'science officer,' too, then I'm a passenger and still not in line of command."

My husband said, "Sharpie, you have the qualifications the rest of us have. You can drive a duo-"

"Suddenly I've forgotten how."

"-but that's not necessary. Mature judgment and the support of your crew are the only requirements, as we are millions of miles and several universes from licenses and such. You have my support; I think you have it from the rest. Jake?"

"Me? Of course!"

"Deety?"

"Captain Hilda knows she has my support," I agreed. "I was first to call her 'Captain."

Aunt Hilda said, "Deety, I've just resigned."

"Oh, no, you haven't anybody to resign to!" I'm afraid I was shrill.

"I resign to the Great Spirit Manitou. Or to you, Zebbie, and it comes around in a circle and you are captain again... as you should be."

"Oh, no, Sharpie. I've stood my watch; it's somebody else's turn. Now that you have resigned, we have no organization. If you think you've stuck me with

it, think again. You have simply picked an unusual way to homestead on this spot. In the meantime, while nobody is in charge, I hope that you all are getting both ears and a belly full of what got me disgusted. Yack yack yack, argue, fuss, and jabber-a cross between a Hyde Park open forum and a high school debating society."

Aunt Hilda said, in sober surprise, "Why, Zebbie, you almost sound vindictive."

"Mrs. Burroughs, it is possible that you have hit upon the right word. I have taken a lot of guff... and quite a bit of it has been from you."

I haven't seen Aunt Hilda look so distressed since Mama Jane died. "I am very sorry, Zebbie. I had not realized that my conduct had displeased you so. I did not intend it so, ever. I am aware-constantly!-that you have saved our-my-life five distinct times....s well as continuously by your leadership. I'm as grateful as my nature permits-a giant amount, even though you consider me a shallow person. But one can't show deepest gratitude every instant, just as one cannot remain in orgasm continuously; some emotions are too strong to stay always at peak."

She sighed, and tears rolled down her face. "Zebbie, will you let me try again? I'll quit being a Smart Aleck. It will be a hard habit to break; I've been one for years-my defense mechanism. But I will break it."

"Don't be so tragic, Hilda," Zebadiah said gently. "You know I love you... despite your little ways."

"Oh, I know you do!-you big ugly giant. Will you come back to us? Be our captain again?"

"Hilda, I've never left. I'll go right on doing the things I know how to do or can learn. And as I'm told. But I won't be captain."

"Oh, dear!"

"It's not tragic. We simply elect a new C.O."

My father picked this moment to get hairy. "Zeb, you're being pretty damned stiff-necked and self-righteous with Hilda. I don't think she has misbehaved."

"Jake, you are in no position tojuclge. First, because she's your bride. Second, because you haven't been sitting in the worry seat; I have. And you have supplied some of the worst guff yourself."

"I was not aware of it... Captain."

"You're doing it now....y calling me 'Captain' when I'm not. But do you recall a couple of hours ago when I asked my second-in-command for advice- and got some back chat about 'written orders'?"

"Mmm... I was out of line. Yes, sir."

"Do you want other examples?"

"No. No, I stipulate that there are others. I understand your point, sir." Pop gave a wry smile. "Well, I'm glad Deety hasn't given you trouble."

"On the contrary, she has given me the most."

I had been upset-I had never really believed that Zebadiah would resign. But now I was shocked and bewildered and hurt. "Zebadiah, what have I done?"

"The same sort of nonsense as the other two... but harder for me because I'm married to you."

"But- But what?"

"I'll tell you in private."

"It's all right for Pop and Aunt Hilda to hear."

"Not with me. We can share our joys with others but difficulties between us we settle in private."

My nose was stuffy and I was blinking back tears. "But I must know."

"Dejah Thoris, you can list the incidents if you choose to be honest with yourself. You have perfect memory and it all took place in the last twentyfour hours."

He turned his face away from me. "One thing I must urge before we choose a captain. I let myself be wheedled and bullied into surrendering authority on the ground. That was a bad mistake. A sea captain is still captain when his ship is anchored. Whoever becomes captain should profit by my mistake and not relinquish any authority merely because Gay is grounded. She can relax the rules according to the situation., But the captain must decide. The situation can be more dangerous on the ground than in air or in space. As it was today when the Russians showed up. Simply grounding must not be: 'School's out! Now we can play!"

"I'm sorry, Zebbie."

"Hilda, I was more at fault than you. I wanted to be free of responsibility. I let myself be talked into it, then my brain went on vacation. Take that 'practice hike.' I don't recall who suggested it-"

"I did," said my father.

"Maybe you did, Jake; but we all climbed on the bandwagon. We were about to run off like a bunch of Scouts with no Scoutmaster. If we had started as quickly as we had expected to, where would we be now? In a Russian jail? Or dead? Oh, I'm not giving myself high marks; one reason I've resigned is that I haven't handled it well. Planning to leave Gay Deceiver and everything we own unguarded while we made walkabout-good God! If I had felt the weight of command I would never have considered it."

Zebadiah made a sour face, then looked at my father. "Jake, you're eldest. Why don't you take the gavel while we pick a new C.O.? I so move."

"Second!"

"Question!"

"White ballot!"

"What gavel? I'll bet there isn't a gavel on this planet."In a moment Father quit stalling. We all voted, using a page from Zebadiah's notebook torn in four. They were folded and handed to me and I was required to declare the vote. So I did:

Zeb

Zebadiah

Zebbje

Sharpie

Zebadiah reached back, got the ballots from me, handed back the one that meant "Aunt Hilda," took the other three and tore them into small pieces.

"Apparently you did not understand me. I've stood my watch; someone else must take it-or we'll park on this bank until we die of old age. Sharpie seems to have an overwhelming lead-is she elected? Or do we ballot again?"

We balloted again:

Sharpie

Jacob

Jacob

Hilda

"A tie," Father said. "Shall we invite Gay to vote?"

"Shut up and deal the cards."

Sharpie

Deety

Deety

Hilda

"Hey!" I protested. "Who switched?" (I certainly didn't vote for me.)

Sharpie

Hilda

Zebbie

Hilda

"One spoiled ballot," said my husband. "A non-candidate. Will you confirm that, Mr. Chairman?"

"Yes," Pop agreed. "My dear... Captain Hilda. You are elected without a dissenting vote."

Aunt Hilda looked as if she might cry again. "You're a bunch of stinkers!" "So we are," agreed my husband, "But we are your stinkers, Captain Hilda." That got him a wan smile. "Guess maybe. Well, I'll try."

"We'll all try," said Pop.

"And we'll all help," said my husband.

"Sure we will!" I said, and meant it.

Pop said, "If you will excuse me? I've been anxious to find a handy bush since before this started." He started to get out.

"Just a moment!"

"Eh? Yes, my dear? Captain."

"No one is to seek out a bush without an armed guard. Not more-and not less-than two people are to leave the car's vicinity at one time. Jacob, if your need is urgent, you must ask Zebbie to hurry-I want the guard to carry both rifle and pistol."

I think it worked out that Pop got the use of a bush last-and must have been about to burst his bladder. Later I overheard Pop say, "Son, you've read Aesop's Fables?"

"Certainly."

"Does anything remind you of King Log and King Stork?"

XXII

'From each according to his ability,

to each according to his needs.'"

Hilda:

I could tell from the first ballot that Zebbie was determined to make me take a turn as captain. Once I realized that, I decided to be captain-let them get sick of me and anxious to have Zebbie back.

Then suddenly I was captain-and it's different. I did not ever again think of trying to make them sick of me; I just started to worry. And try.

First my husband wanted to find a bush for the obvious reason-and I suddenly realized that a banth might get him. Not a Barsoomian banth but whatever this planet held in dangerous carnivores.

So I ordered armed guards. With rules about not getting separated. It was a nuisance but I was firm... and knew at last what a crushing load there had been on Zebbie,

But one thing I could improve: Arrange for us to sleep inside the car.

The space back of the bulkhead behind the rear seats was not organized. We had about six hours till sundown (having gained on the Sun in going west), so I had everything in that space pulled out.

Space enough for Zebbie and Deety, on his sleeping bag opened out, blankets over them. Jacob and I? The piloting chairs we moved forward all the set screws would allow, laid them back almost fh~t and padded the cracks with pillows, and, to support our legs, the cushions from the rear seats were placed on boxes we would otherwise discard once I had the car organized. It wasn't the best bed but low gravity and my cuddlesome husband made it a most attractive one.

Baths- In the stream and cold! Same rules as for bushes: armed guards. Soap thoroughly on the bank, get in and rinse fast, bounce out and towel till you glowed. Primitive? Luxurious!

This did not go smoothly. Take the "handy bush" problem. I did not have to be told that a latrine should be downstream or that our shovel should be carried every time without fail-rules for a clean camp are as old as the Old Testment.