"We do indeed, Captain. But I concluded that my only chance of serving my sovereign lay in giving my word. Am I right?"

"Quite right, Bertie. You now have opportunity to persuade me to support you in your crisis. Your King-Emperor is not our prince; we place no faith in princes. We have no reason to love Russians but we spanked the only one who gave us trouble. In what way is the British colony superior to the Russian one? Take your time."

Aunt Hilda turned her attention to the rest of us. "Standing orders apply:

Two at a time, one being armed. Deety and I will cut and wrap sandwiches, make coffee and prepare a snack for growing boys who can't remember a bounteous luncheon three hours ago. One guard at all times at the car. Bertie, I'm assigning you that duty. You know how to use a rifle?"

Zebadiah said, "You're arming him?"

"Chief Pilot, I assume that you are questioning my judgment. If you convince me that I am wrong, there will be a new captain even more quickly than I had planned. May I have your reason?"

"Sharpie, I didn't mean to get your feathers up."

"Not at all, Zebbie. Why are you surprised that I intend to use Bertie as guard?"

"Ten minutes ago you had me do a skin search to make sure he wasn't armed. Now you are about to hand him a gun."

"Ten minutes ago he had not given parole."

Bertie said hastily, "Zeb is right, Hilda-Captain Hilda; Zeb has no reason to trust me. I don't want to be a bone of contention!"

I'm still trying to figure out whether Aunt Hilda is more logical than other people or is a complete sophist. She gave Bertie a freeze, looking him up and down. "Smythe-Carstairs, your opinion was neither asked nor wanted."

Bertie turned pink. "Sorry, Ma'am."

"Although you were a person of some importance in your own land, you are now something between a prisoner and a nuisance. I am trying to give you the dignity of crew member pro tern. Hold your tongue. Zebbie, what were you going to say?"

"Shucks, if you aren't afraid to have him with a gun at your back, I'm not. No offense intended, Bertie."

"None taken, Zeb."

"Zebbie, please assure yourself that Bertie can handle a rifle, and that he

knows what to shoot at and when not to shoot, before you turn the guard over to him. Put the other rifle at the door for bush patrol. Bertie, watch and listen. Gay Deceiver, open your doors."

Our Smart Girl opened wide. "Gay Deceiver, close your doors." Gay complied. "Bertie," Aunt Hilda went on, "you do it."

Of course he failed-and failed again on other voice programs. The Hillbilly explained that it took me a tedious time with special equipment to cause this autopilot to respond to a particular human voice. "Bertie, go back and explain to Squeaky; make him understand that I saved his life. This car can be driven in three modes. Two Squeaky can't use at all; the third would kill him as dead as Caesar."

"Plus a fourth hazard," added my husband. "Anybody who doesn't understand the Smart Girl but tries to take her apart to see what makes her tick would find himself scattered over a couple of counties."

"Booby-trapped, Zebadiah?" I asked. "I hadn't known it."

"No. But juice is very unfriendly to anybody who doesn't understand it."

"Come and get it!" The snack Aunt Hilda offered was a much-stuffed omelet. "Bertie, place your gun near you, locked. Between bites, you can tell us why your colony is worth defending. By us, I mean. For you, it's duty."

"Captain Hilda, I've done some soul-searching. I daresay that, in the main, we and the Russians are much the same, prison colonies with military governors. Perhaps, in a hundred years, it won't matter. Although I see us as morally superior."

"How, Bertie?"

"A Russian might see this differently. Our transportees are malefactors under our laws-but once here, they are as free as other Englishmen. Oh, they must wear the Broad Arrow until discharged-but at home they would wear it in a grim prison. The Russian prisoners are, if our intelligence is correct, the people they used to send to the Siberian salt mines. Political prisoners. They are serfs but I am told that most of them were not serfs in Russia. Whether they are treated better or worse than serfs in Russia I do not know. But one thing I do know. They work their fields with men; we work ours with wogs."

"And whip them!" Suddenly I was angry.

We had an argument, Bertie maintaining that the whips were not used unnecessarily, I asserting that I had seen it with my own eyes.

I guess he won, as he told us that they had to muzzle the beasts in weed fields, or they would stuff themselves on it, pass out, wake somewhat, do it again, and starve-but the muzzles were designed to allow them to chew a blade at a time all day long, to keep them happy. "The raw weed is addictive, to wog and man. We won't allow a man to work in the fields more than three months at a time... and pull him out if he can't pass the weekly medical tests. As for wogs, Deety-yes, we exploit them. Human beings exploit horses, cattle, sheep, poultry, and other breeds. Are you vegetarian?"

I admitted I was not. "But I don't want to eat wogs!"

"Nor do we. In Windsor colony wog meat goes only to wogs, and wogs don't care. In the wild they eat their own dead, kill and eat their aged. Captain Hilda, that's all the defense I can offer. I admit that it doesn't sound as strong as I had always believed."

"Captain, I'd like to put one to Bertie."

"Jacob, I treasure your thoughts."

"Bertie, would you polish off the Russians if you could?"

Bertie snorted. "That's academic, Doctor. I don't command the force it would take. I can't set up a string of stockpiles-and wouldn't know what to do with them if I could; I don't have the troops or 'thopters. But I must add: If my King tells me to fight, I will fight."

Aunt Hilda told Bertie to wash dishes with Pop sent along as guard. As soon as they started down, Aunt Hilda said, "We are going to do it, to a maximum cost of one power pack. Deety, start working on a program stringing together the dumps we located last night."

"Already have," I told her. "In my head. Last night. To put me to sleep. You want it preprogrammed? I would rather tell Gay each bounce, I would."

"Do it your way, hon. The purpose in sending Bertie to wash dishes and Jacob to guard him was to get them out of the way while I rig a frameup. At the end of the coming run, we drop Bertie and bounce... and at that instant I cease to be captain. I want to hold the election now-a one-ballot railroad. I will ask for nominations. Zebbie, you nominate Jacob. Deety, you don't need to say anything but speak if you wish. If Jacob nominates either of you, don't argue. I'll rig it so that Bertie declares the ballots. If you two are with me, the only surprise will be that fourth vote. Three for Jacob, and let's all write 'Jacob,' not 'Pop' or 'Jake,' and one for the dark horse. Are you with me?"

"Wait a half, Sharpie. Why not give Deety a crack at it?"

"Not me!"

"Deety should have the experience, but, please, Zebbie, not this time. Jacob has given me a dreadful time. Endless insubordination. I want to pass him on to Deety well tenderized. Deety ought not to have to put up with her father second-guessing her decisions-and, if you two help, she won't have to. I want to give my beloved the goddamndest 'white mutiny' ever, one that he will remember with shudders and never again give a skipper any lip."

"Sounds good," I agreed, "but I don't know what a 'white mutiny' is."

"Sweetheart," my husband told me, "it's killing him with kindness. He says 'Frog,' we hop. Utter and literal obedience."

"This he won't like? Pop will love it!"

"So? Would you like to command zombies who never make suggestions and carry out orders literally without a grain of common sense?"

Fifteen minutes later Bertie read off: "Jacob' and this reads 'Jacob' and so does this one, that seems to settle it. But here is one, folded: 'A bunch of smarties, you three. Think I didn't guess why you sent me down to ride shot-

gun? Very well, I vote for myself!' It is signed 'Jake.' Madame Speaker, is that valid?"

"Quite. Jacob, my last order will be liftoff after we drop Bertie."

Bertie said, "Jake, I think congratulations are in order."

"Pipe down! All hands, prepare for space."

"A piece of cake," Bertie called it. We started at the easternmost dump, worked west. Pop out at four klicks and dive, a dry run to size up the target; where wood alcohol was stored, ornithopters on the ground and how arranged... while Gay ululated from intensity six to eight. Frightfulness. I did not let it go up to ten because it wasn't intended to damage but to send anyone on target scattering.

Zebadiah's idea: "Captain, I've got nothing against Russians. My only purpose is to burn their fuel and their flaphappies to make it difficult to attack our friends-and I don't mean you big brass, Bertie. I mean the transportee maid who brought us tea this morning, and Brian Bean, and Mr. Wheatstone who was a top surgeon before some fool judge slammed him and is now doing his best for wogs, and the chef at the officers' club, and five cons who drove that sillywagon, and dozens more who smiled when they could have scowled. I don't want them killed or enslaved; I want them to have their chance. Governor, England is slapping the Broad Arrow on some of your best potential- you English will live to regret it."

"You could be right, Zeb,"

"I don't want to kill Russians, either. Could be most of them are decent blokes. Each strike will be a double run-one pass to scatter 'em, a second to destroy the dump. Captain, if that doesn't suit you, find another gunner."

Aunt Hilda said, "Astrogator."

"Captain."

"Strike as described by Chief Pilot. Take the conn. Attack."

At the first target we lingered after the strike bounce. The dry pass did show them running away-they could hear us clear in their bones. Those subsonics are so horrid I keyed Gay to kill the noise at code-word "Bounce"- and did not use it on the strike pass.

Zebadiah made strikes from bearings planned to take out as many 'thopters as possible while setting fire to fuel.

From four klicks the first strike looked good. The dump was burning, 'thopters he had hit showed smoke, and one that he had not hit was burning. Splashed by flaming methanol, I suppose.

If that first target was indication, in thirty-four minutes the Russians lost all fuel and about 70% of the deployed flaphappies. I took us up high after the last. "Next stop, Windsor City."

"l'm taking the conn, Astrogator. Bertie, don't forget my little ring for Betty."

"I'll give it to her in the morning."

"Good," Captain Hilda said. "Unbelt, crowd past Jacob, place yourself against the door-feet on deck, chest against door. Jacob, push against the small of his back. Bertie, when the door opens, dive and roll clear."

They positioned themselves. "Gay Parade Ground Gay Deceiver open starboard door... Gay Deceiver close doors, GayBounce, GayBounce! Jacob, do you relieve me?"

"Beloved, I relieve you. Ten minima H axis transit-and executed. All hands, unbelt."

I unbuckled with extreme speed~ and clumsiness, getting Pop in the chin with my foot.

"Deety! Watch where you're going!"

"I'm sorry, Captain. I'm out of practice with free fall."

"You've been in free fall every day!"

"Yes, Captain. I've been in free fall every day, belted down."

"Pipe down! Hilda, don't cover the instrument board. Hold onto something. No, not me, damn it. Zeb! Grab something and catch Hilda!"

"Roger Wilco, Captain! Right away!" My husband snagged Aunt Hilda, grabbed a seat belt with his other hand, trapped our captain against the dogs of the bulkhead door with his buttocks. "What now, sir!"

"Get your goddam fanny out of my face!"

"Sorry, sir," Zebadiah answered humbly while turning and digging an elbow into Pop's ribs. I closed in from the other side and we had Pop trapped again- ballet and trampoline make a fine background for free fall. Zebadiah went on cheerfully, "What shall we do now, sir?"

Pop didn't answer. From watching his lips I saw that he was counting backwards, silently, in German. That's stage three.

Then he said quietly, "Zeb, get into the copilot's seat and belt down."

"Aye aye, sir." Zebadiah did so.

Pop snatched Hilda while hanging onto a dog. "Deety, belt down in the chief pilot's seat."

"Roger Wilco, Captain"-I did so.

"My dear, I want you behind Deety. Do you need help?"

"Yes, thank you, Captain; it's sweet of you to offer." White mutiny? The Hillbilly is about as helpless as Zebadiah but thinks God created men to pamper women. I've heard less reasonable philosophies.

After "helping" Hilda, Pop strapped down in the starboard after seat. "All hands! We have moved clockwise ninety degrees. I am now captain. Hilda, you are astrogator and second-in-command. Deety, you are chief pilot. Zeb, you are copilot. In order of seniority, any questions?"

The Hillbilly said in a small voice, "As second-in-command I am required to advise the Captain-"

"Certain circumstances. Speak up."

"Captain, I know very little about astrogation."

"That's why you have the job. You will seek advice from Deety as needed, both of you seek advice from Zeb when necessary-and if all three of you are stumped, I will tackle it and be responsible for mistakes. No burden, the

Captain is always responsible for all mistakes. When in doubt, do not hesitate to consult me.

"Deety, you have not driven this car in atmosphere. But you are a competent, decisive, and skillful driver of duos"-I am, Pop?-you're years late in saying so-"and we have come this high to give you time to acquaint yourself with it. I placed Zeb by you to coach you and, in time, to report to me that you are fully qualified." Pop smiled. "Fortunately, should you get into trouble, we have programs that will get you out instantly such as 'Gay Bounce'-"

Gay bounced.

Pop did not notice but I had my eye on radar distance since learning that I was responsible. Pop, who invented those safety scrams? Think hard. Hint:

One of your offspring.

"Zeb, you know the knobs and scales et cetera of the controls we refer to as the verniers but you have not had time to practice. Now you will practice until you can handle anything, by eye, or by clicks in the dark. Permit me to pay you this compliment: You will give yourself your own final examination. When you feel ready, tell me and I will have the Astrogator log it.

"Advice to future captains-I will not be happy until all are competent in each of four seats, and all feel easy in all twenty-five possible arrangements-"

"Twenty-four, Pop," I blurted out. I hastily added, "Sorry, Captain-'twentyfive."

Pop has a terrible time with kitchen arithmetic; it has been so long since he has done any. He will pick up a hand computer to discover 2x3=6; I've seen him do it.

He stared at me, lips moving slightly. At last he said, "Chief Pilot."

"Captain."

"You are ordered to correct me when I make a mistake. 'Twenty-four' permutations, certainly."

"Sir, may the Chief Pilot have more information before she answers RogerWilco?"

"Fire away!"

"Captain, what categories of mistakes?"

"Eh? Any sort! A mistake is a mistake. Daughter, are you baiting me?"